Harmful both to the Porsche—we don’t even want to imagine how hard it would be to remove dried cement from the undercarriage of your car—and to the self-esteem of the driver, whose humiliation will now last forever on the Internet, available in a moment for anyone who Googles “Porsche idiot cement.”

[via YouTube]

There are some sentences we wish we had the opportunity to write more often. Dear Ms. Upton, I’d love to have dinner with you this Friday is one. I must regrettably inform you I will not be coming in to work tomorrow or ever again, as I won the Powerball last Saturday is another. And who could leave out The most powerful production Ferrari in history will be unveiled next Wednesday?

Instead of letting it get lost in the sea of new cars at the Geneva Motor Show, Ferrari project F152 (as it’s internally known) will be revealed on Wednesday, February 29th, thus kicking off what Ferrari calls “a new era of extreme V12 cars.” Ferrari pledges that the F152 will be “the most powerful Ferrari ever,” a title we’re assuming excludes track-only specials like the 850 horsepower FXX Evoluzione—and a title it’ll likely lose this year to the rumored 920 horsepower Enzo replacement.

But the day we complain about a 700 horsepower Ferrari is the day we turn down Kate Upton for that dinner.

[via Ferrari]

Sure, it’s not the fairest fight; because of the tuning work performed on the ZR1, GT-R and RS6 it competes against, the stock 458 Italia is at a bit of a power disadvantage. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to go down easy. Check out the video below, and see what it takes to knock off Ferrari’s mid-engined V8 wonder.

[via YouTube]

And like Decepticons in a Michael Bay Transformers movie, once the McLarens arrived, there was no stopping them from conquering the major metropolises of America. New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, Miami, San Francisco—each fell prey to the Twelsvy onslaught, usually with a major landmark somewhere in the background. No city can long resist the power of that 3.8 liter twin-turbo V8.

[via YouTube]

Hence, he prefers to have them designed with…well, let’s be kind and call them creative design schemes inside and out. Okay, the matte-blue-paint-over-denim-upholstery Ferrari California isn’t that bad, but the camouflage 458 Italia…good God, that’s just wrong. (Especially the interior.)

And for a guy who clearly likes to think outside the box, we’re kind of surprised he slapped the same livery on his Jeep Grand Cherokee as he stuck on his Italia. At least his old Grand Cherokee had some class.

[via Wallpaper]

But while the lack of a hard top does the 427 no structural favors, that doesn’t make it a slouch on the track, as professional Corvette racing driver and Le Mans class champion Tommy Milner is more than happy to demonstrate. (Especially as long as Chevy is paying him to race Corvettes.) We’re anxiously awaiting our chance to drive the 427 Convertible as soon as Chevy sends us one. Burnout City, here we come.

[via YouTube]

Porsche’s vaguely Audi Q5-based SUV will officially be named “Macan,” which we initially thought was a portmanteau of “maternal” and “can you believe they’re building this,” but turns out to be derived from the Indonesian word for tiger. It’s part of what Porsche describes as their aim to name their cars after the vehicle’s traits: “The name Boxster describes the combination of ‘boxer’ engine and ‘roadster’, Cayenne stands for sharpness, [and] the Cayman is snappy and agile.”

Porsche’s press release goes out of its way not to describe the Macan as a sport-utility vehicle, describing it at various points as a “sports car in the sports utility segment,” a “new all-terrain car,” and simply a “car.” However you categorize it, the Macan is going to be big business for Porsche; the car maker is spending €500 million to upgrade their Leipzig factory in order to pump out Macans starting next year, and they expect the new SUV sports car to create around 1,000 jobs.

Porsche released a short teaser video for the Macan that doesn’t really have anything to do with the car, but the fact that they’ve already created a video makes us think Porsche plans on revealing the Macan pretty soon. Don’t be surprised to see it at the Geneva Motor Show next month.

[via Porsche]

Press Release:

NEW PORSCHE MODEL TO BE NAMED MACAN

Porsche names have an indelible connection with the corresponding model and its characteristics: the name Boxster describes the combination of ‘boxer’ engine and ‘roadster’, Cayenne stands for sharpness, the Cayman is snappy and agile and a Panamera is more than a Gran Turismo, capable also of winning the Carrera Panamericana long-distance race.

LeBlanc, which if my Spanish translates correctly from one Romance language to the next is Italian for “The Blanc,” recently took to the track as Top Gear’s The Star In A Reasonably Price Car segment. In doing so LeBlanc drove a Kia cee’d to the show record for a celebrity by completing the laps in 1 minute and 42.1 seconds. The time bested that of British icon, Rowan Atkinson, who is famous for his role as Mr. Bean. There has been no word yet on how Atkinson is handling being dethroned, but it would be reasonable to assume with a rather large scowl.

[via Daily Mail]

But while one drifting Toyobaru is good, two drifting Toyobarus are even better—especially when they’re drifting mere inches away from one another. Can we just get this car, already? Thanks to this warm, dry winter, we haven’t been going sideways nearly enough recently.

[via YouTube]

This video gives you a pretty good sense of what occurs before, during, and after a crash: alert driving, followed by a moment of recognition, followed by an expletive (verbal or non-verbal), followed by a sudden impact, followed by fire. Followed shortly thereafter by the changing of underwear.

[via YouTube]